War Against Rudeness

Here's a scenario- tell me what you'd do.

I'm flying home on Sunday from a VERY long, intense, exhausting business trip. I managed to get a window seat on an overcrowded, oversold flight.

When I arrive at my seat, there's a man already sitting in the middle seat. He gets up to let me in. Then a man approaches to take the aisle seat in my row. The Middle-Seat man, asks Aisle-Seat man if he would mind trading seats with his wife. When A-S man learns that the wife is sitting in the middle a few rows up, he declines.

M-S man is clearly perturbed by this. I can't really say I blame A-S man, because after all, who wants a middle seat?

Here's where it gets tough for me. I attempt to fall asleep leaning against the window. I succeed for a few minutes until I am awakened by the sound of loud, rattling, snoring.

M-S man is spread out in his seat- arms on both armrests, head tilting in my direction. Snoring as loud as can be. In a gross, nasal, "is something gonna come flying out of his mouth" kind of way.

Oh well, what I can do really? It would be rude to wake him, right? I mean, he can't really help it.

But meanwhile I am terribly uncomfortable as he snores in my ear. And his breath is rancid and it's putting me in a foul mood. His wife a few rows up, obviously recognizing the familiar sound, keeps turning around.

I really want to wake him. When it's time to order my drink from the flight attendant, I say my choice as loudly as possible. It does no good.

It occurs to me that this isn't his issue. It's my issue, and I get to choose how I deal with it. But I was stuck, nothing I did made me any more comfortable in this position. The flight seemed to take forever.

At long last, we landed, my seatmate woke up, and we disembarked from the plane.

Ready for the kicker?

I'm walking behind M-S man as he catches up to his wife. I overhear him say "They wouldn't trade seats" (fyi-he never asked me...) "But I treated them to a great snoring session- did you hear me!?" The pair laugh together as they walk to the baggage claim.

Random Thoughts on Dating

• When you're dating one man that is "good for you" on paper, and another that isn't so good on paper- eventually you wind up preferring the one that isn't good for you.


• On a first date, when a man sits too close to you, touches your legs often, and refers to himself in the third person, it doesn't go well.


• Is it true that when a man's pupils dilate, it means he's attracted to you? Twice, with the same man- we were in a well lit room when this happened. And no, he wasn't on drugs.


• Keith hasn't changed. Banter, flirting...but absolutely no substance at all.


• When you have that magical, intense, romantic kind of first kiss with someone you've recently met, it's OK and normal to momentarily feel like you've just cheated on your ex. As long as the moment passes quickly.


• No matter how "experienced" one gets at dating...the "waiting for the phone call" period simply sucks.


• When the world of "Divorced with children" collides with the world of "Never married, no children" in the realm of dating, it's almost like two aliens coming together trying to figure it out.

A Messy Metaphor

I'm standing on a street corner in Manhattan. I have to catch a train that leaves in 45 minutes. If I miss this train, I have to wait hours for the next one, and possibly pay additional money for the ticket.

I have an oversized suitcase, my laptop bag, and a large purse. My suitcase is so full that it tips over if I let go of it. So I can't let go of it.

It happens to be pouring rain out, so I also have an umbrella. A flimsy one. That keeps getting blown in and out.

Have you ever tried to hail a cab in New York in the rain?

Have you ever tried to do it while holding an umbrella and three bags?

Cab after cab whizzes by me. Either their "off duty" light is on, or they have a passenger already. Pedestrians that aren't weighed down with so much "stuff" easily maneuver about so they can run up to the next cab that pulls over to let out their passenger.

I start to feel defeated. If I don't see a cab with their "available" light on in the next few minutes, it's all over for me. I'm in for a horrible evening. I just want to be home.

My negative thoughts and feelings keep coming. "I hate this city." "I hate that bus driver that just pulled a bus over where I can't see the cabs anymore." "I hate that woman who is sprinting down the block to take that cab."

I take a deep breath and try to push the negativity aside. I blink back the tears.

Finally, a cab pulls up to me. "Penn Station" I say. He says "I was hoping you wouldn't say that." Ugh! Nothing like a cab ride with a driver that doesn't want to be there.

I get to the station with minutes to spare. But at least I got to the station. On time!

Yea! Nirvana! I made it! This is what I've been waiting for and trying for! Whew!!!

****

On board the train, I'm disappointed. It's overcrowded. It's uncomfortable. I get a terrible seat where I'm facing someone else sharing leg room.

I begin to laugh. This is a metaphor for sure! As I begin to see the humor, I sit back, relax, and fall asleep.

And I make it home in time for Grey's Anatomy. Life is good.

It's Ulysses' fault

Keith is back.


God help me.



(Just kidding, Ulysses! I take full responsibility for my actions. :)