Why Women Should Wait to Have Sex

My answer to this has nothing to do with morality, or religion, or right and wrong.

Nor does it have anything to do with how having sex too soon affects the man's feelings towards her.

I can't even presume to speak on behalf of "all women". I can only speak for myself. And a few dozen of my girlfriends who seem to agree with me. And maybe there are more out there.

The reason a woman should avoid having sex with a new romantic interest too soon is:

Because it falsely accelerates the woman's feelings for the man.

It automatically puts a relationship on "fast forward" even if you are not particularly ready for it. And I believe it's a biological thing. Many of us women are simply wired this way and there's nothing we can do about it.

All of a sudden, someone whom you are "fond of", your feelings scoring maybe a 5 or 6 on a scale of 1-10...becomes an 8 or 9. You truly feel like you are "in love" with the man.

Now, don't get all excited...it's not that we jump into bed with a man once and automatically fall in love with him. It takes a bit more than that. But once you cross the "sex threshold" with a man, it's difficult or impossible to rewind.

So what's wrong with that, you ask?

Well, it can potentially put the whole relationship out of balance. The man's feelings for you have not increased that much. Yours have had a powerboost. You don't have to be a relationship expert to know the danger in that. You may start to expect more from the man than he is ready to give. Or you may become a bit needy- many men will bolt if they think a woman is falling too much in love too soon.

It also opens you up to intense hurt. You become vulnerable. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with being open and vulnerable. But perhaps you truly are not ready to take that kind of emotional risk.

My advice to myself (which I usually have trouble taking) and my advice to you is to wait until you are willing to give your emotions a power boost. Are you ready to care about this man even more? Maybe even love him? How does he feel about you? Is he worthy of your heart?

Yes, the sex could be great. Maybe it's been a long time since you've had any. Maybe you are crazy attracted to this guy. Maybe you simply love sex. Trust me, I understand all that. But on more than one occasion, I have found that even super-amazing, multi-orgasmic sex wasn't worth the struggles and even hurt that came later (pun not intended).

It is true there are women who have somehow programmed themselves to simply enjoy sex for sex without impact on their emotions. I just ain't one of them.