NSA Sex, Fact or Fiction?
I've heard a rumor.
I've heard that there are women that are able to go out and have sex like a man. They can have casual sex without any emotional ties or connection. Just for the joy of it. The physical pleasure. And I've also heard that they don't want it to "turn into something else" and they have no interest in a relationship.
I'm not sure I'm buying it. It seems to me that women are biologically wired to become emotional when they are physically intimate with a man. I was discussing this very subject with two girlfriends last night. Both said they were unable to engage in casual sex, however they knew women that could.
My question is "Yes, but are they just kidding themselves?" or, perhaps, "Is there really something messed up about them?" Are women (especially very young women) fooled into thinking they have to be "tough enough" to be sexual without emotional intimacy because of the sexual "freedom" women have won?
I had an FWB for many years. (We actually called it a "maintenance man" at the time). This guy was attractive and nice, but not relationship material in any way. So I didn't have any romantic feelings for him at all. I was able to have a sexual relationship with him- to a point. The odd phenomenon that I experienced is that when he and I got together too frequently, I felt myself develop an emotional attachment to him. I started to think..."well maybe..." Even though we were 100% wrong for each other. Intellectually, I knew I was experiencing some sort of "hormone drunk". But it seemed real, and felt real. I had to cut back on our time together.
The challenge I see is that women do need sex and want sex as much (or more) than men do. But I don't think that is all they want. On some level, they want the sex to lead to more. They want the full package.
There are exceptions of course. I think alcohol and drugs can greatly alter the situation. I also think that a woman can act out sexually in response to something (like a break up or a divorce). But even in those cases...I think there's something inside that is looking for and needing more.
I want it to be true that women can have sex like a man. Heck, I wouldn't mind being one of them.
Labels: sex
posted by Aileen @ 11:15 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I do think it's true. I think the lines blur when it's multiple encounters with the same person (i.e. FWB, maintenance men, etc.) and every woman is different, but I don't think women like that are "broken" or "fooled."
I believe you can know what you want and sometimes, it's purely physical gratification.
Ah yes, Kristin, but do you *know* that it's true? I don't want you to answer, but have you personally been able to experience it (without being under the influence of alcohol) where you can have sex purely for physical gratification with no repercussions, no bad feelings, and no emptyness afterwards?
I'm not saying there aren't times when all we want is physical gratification, I'm just wondering if it's biologically/hormonally possible for we women to just connect on that level?
If it's true, then I am truly jealous of such women!
Without saying too much, I know it to be true. That there can be separation of the physical from the emotional. Without alcohol.
You lucky devil!!
Maybe it's something that can be learned...:)
Ithought your title referred to National Security Agency sex, which would have been the oxymoron of the year!
It's funny - I almost wish I could unlearn it.
media- Ha! I guess you've written one too many political posts?
kristen- the best of both worlds would be to be able to turn it on and off at will! oh the power!
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