Jumpin' the Track

Early in adult life, we all start out at the 'train station', probably leading up to and during the college years. There we are, with all of our peers, having different interests, dreams, goals etc. But easy access to everyone.

Then we start boarding different trains: Grad school. Climbing the corporate ladder. Falling in love.

This continues throughout our twenties and into our thirties: Career. Love. Exclusive relationships. Engagement. Marriage. Family.

The trains end up having very distinct differences...and we continue along that track. And we only have access to people on the same train.

By the time you reach your late thirties and into your forties...all the people you've known and care about have boarded different trains.

I know people on the
Single But in a Serious Relationship train
Married with No Children train
Married with Children train
Divorced train
Divorced with Kids train

and finally, those on my train:
Single train.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm over-simplifying, but stick with me for a moment OK?

My point is that it is really, really, difficult to have relationships with people on the other trains. Whether you're talking about friendships or dating. They spend their time differently. They have different priorities.

So in my early 40's I find myself on a train with people much younger than myself. There are some distinct perks on the Single train: we are very independent, we can travel and make choices based purely on our own desires. We play a lot and have a lot of fun.

In some ways the Single train keeps me young, but in other ways, it makes it difficult to truly connect.

So I attempt to jump the track. Which sometimes works for friendships. I get together with my friends in a Serious Relationship on nights when their SO is busy. I spend time with older friends on the Empty Nester train because they suddenly find themselves with more time on their hands.

But for dating? The Divorced train and especially the Divorced with Kids train are really tricky tracks to navigate. Since I avoid the Married trains, and I never want to take a guy who is already in a Serious Relationship, I find myself in a quandary.

Chances are I'm going to have to give up some of my perks in order to be comfortable on either Divorce train. Chances are that's where I'm gonna meet my man.