Step Up or Step Out

When you spend your adult life as a single person, your lifestyle goes through a lot of changes and phases. There have been times when I've been in exclusive relationships, times when I've sworn off all men, times when I'm casually dating or working on trying to meet someone new.

Right now I find myself in the midst of a phase that I don't remember happening before. Sometimes you have a cold spell when you don't meet anyone interesting. I seem to be consistently meeting men that are potentially interesting.

Sounds like a good thing, right?

Well, sure.

Even better that these men appear to have an interest in me, too.

All good, right?

Uh, not so much.

There have been about a half dozen different occasions where I've met someone that I think I would be interested in getting to know better. For me, it's impossible to tell if I'm interested in dating someone upon our first meeting. All I can determine is whether or not I'd like a second meeting. Very simple.

But here's what's happening. In almost all cases, the men have expressed a lot of interest when we meet. Lots of attention, flirting, sexual tension and occasionally a more overt gesture of asking to get together. The follow up to the initial meeting has looked like this:

*asks for my number and calls a week later
*doesn't ask for my number, but contacts me on Facebook
*sends me a text inviting me to a group happy hour
*sends me an email asking if I'm going to be at an upcoming event
*an invitation to lunch to discuss business

In other words, lots of lukewarm, ambivalent interest being expressed. "Casual" invitations to group events. Phone conversations regarding what upcoming dates "could" be. Phone conversations ending without said dates being planned.

Yeah, yeah, I know it's a classic case of "he's just not that into you". Which is fine. I don't know any of these men well enough to really care.

But I'm longing for the man that meets me, wants me, and clearly comes after me. Expresses interest and backs it up by asking me for my number. Then calls me in the next day or two.

And actually asks me on a Real. Grownup. Date.

Man up already!