Mothers and Daughters

Why is this such a difficult relationship for so many people? Many of my female friends have a challenging relationship with their mothers. In fact, I can't think of any female friends of mine that are happy with the relationship they have with their mom.

As I approach my big 4-0, I worry about my parents getting older. And I worry about losing them. I'm particularly worried about the state of my connection to my mom because it's probably more dysfunctional than the relationship with my dad. I'm getting too old to still be angry at my mom for not being the kind of mom I wanted her to be. Yes, I am ready to accept her as she is. But that doesn't change the fact that there are huge obstacles and barriers between us.

One thing I've wondered recently- do single adult women without children have a harder time with their relationship with their mom than married women with children? I have no way of knowing the answer to this. I ask because I often feel that my "lack" of a husband or children is a wedge between my mother and I. Almost like she has been waiting for years for me to "join the club" so we could relate and connect. Instead, it's like we live in alien universes. I need to figure out how to bridge that gap.