Soul Mate Update

Since my soul mate prediction was picked up by DC Blogs, I feel obligated to update you on the status of my status with MG. I knew when I was writing such a bold statement, that I was being completely illogical and a bit crazy-sounding. I didn't care. It was a feeling I had in my gut.

So what happened after the evening when I was so completely swept off my feet?

Nothing.



Well that's not completely true. First, there were a few days of complete silence. With each passing day, I was becoming less and less convinced that my initial instincts were accurate. I questioned my intuition and judgment. How could I be so completely wrong about a connection with another person? How could I be so convinced that he was into me, when he actually was not?

I have often been able to convince myself that a man was more interested in me than he actually was. Or that the relationship I was in was more significant than it actually was. But deep, deep, in my gut...I always knew the truth.

This time...I once again felt that I simply knew the truth. He and I had a future together. Period.

The other gut feeling I had was that there was a potential issue surrounding the subject of children. Under the category "planchild", on my profile I had indicated "Definitely". Only because none of the categories fully express my feelings on the subject. "No way" certainly doesn't apply. "Someday" and "Not sure" seemed ridiculous and immature for a 42 year old woman. So I chose "Definitely". When in reality, I would love to be a mother, but I am very aware that I may not be. Or may not be in the traditional sense. And I have no plans to do something extreme to make motherhood happen.

And MG had mentioned it on our date. He managed to somehow slip it into the conversation about work/life balance, saying "You said on your profile you definitely want a child, right?" I was so taken off guard, and not really remembering what I put, I said "Yeah."

Later, I had a strong feeling that that was something that bothered him about me. Perhaps enough to be a deal breaker. When I looked at his profile, I saw that he was looking for a woman who either had kids, or wanted them "someday". It then hit me that when someone sees a 42 year old woman who "definitely" wants children, the message that is sent is much stronger than the message I would like to send.

Friday (five days after meeting him), I see that he is no longer on Match. Profile gone. Poof. Disappeared. Without an email, text message, or call. Now mind you, I typically would not feel like I needed that kind of contact after one brief "match-date". But as you know, this particular date felt different.

I was very sad when I saw he was no longer doing online dating. Does that mean he met someone? After meeting me? That couldn't be possible, as he had spring break plans with his daughter for the week. So he met someone before me? And still met me for tea? And still decided he preferred the other woman?

As you can see, my mind was spinning in a dozen different directions. I decided I needed to have some indication of what was happening with him. I sent him a text on Saturday "So how's your mini-spring break going?"

No response.

Okay then- there's my answer. At least part of it. Clearly he's not interested.

I refused to accept that. I was so sure.

My gut was telling me "You will hear from him again, but only after you call him first."

Monday, I called and left a voice message. A message I rehearsed in my head about half a dozen times. I spoke from my heart- I truly enjoyed meeting him, I enjoyed our conversation and connection. I can tell he's a great guy. And I would love another conversation.

This morning, he returned the call and left a message. "Thank you for your sweet message. I am very attracted to you, and I felt the connection too. But I've been seeing someone and I've decided I want to see where that goes. I hope you understand, and hope you wouldn't be offended if I contacted you in the future if I end up back on Match and you are available. I really hope you understand."

Was I disappointed? Sure.

Was I devastated? Not really. For a few reasons.

First, meeting MG gave me hope. Gives me hope. There are Good Men out there. And I can still be swept off my feet. And when it happens at the right time, and in the right way, I can see that it could happen quickly.

Second, (now this is where you'll think I'm nuts) because I'm still convinced that MG and I have some sort of a future together. I swear- he feels so familiar to me, like I already know him. Yes, I know I sound silly and school girlish. But it's how I feel.

So I responded to his voice mail with a text: "Thx for the msg. Keep my number- you picked the wrong woman :) Kidding! (Sort of) Seriously- good luck. A"

He immediately responded: ":-D, thanks A...you're sweet. I definitely will keep your number ;-)"

So let's debrief:

I've just been blown off for another woman by a man that swept me away with one meeting. And I still feel optimistic. And I still feel so ridiculously sure that we will somehow be a part of each others' lives.

And people say I'm highly intelligent.