On the Road Again
I've been traveling a lot for my business. I mean, a LOT. At least three weeks out of every month.
I usually don't like to be away from home so much, but I'm really enjoying it. A friend recently asked me "what do you enjoy about it?" I realized it's the people.
As a sole proprietor, my new business could potentially be a very lonely existence. I could work from my home office, spending a lot of time working by myself. When I travel, I'm actually able to have lots of interaction, and I've been getting the opportunity to see friends that I wouldn't normally see so often.
I see el's mom once a month because of a client. I see KH monthly due to another client. Each trip I've taken this year has given me the chance to connect, or reconnect with people that I care about. How cool is that? And I've even made some new friends too!
But here's the rub: those left behind. Meaning, my friends at home, my house, potential dates, etc. To people who don't understand the "traveler's life", it seems non-committal. I have friends that are either impatient with my lack of availability, or I just seem to fall down on their list of priorities.
Attempting to start a new relationship proves to be difficult. Or maybe I should say impossible since I haven't been able to do it while having this "on the go" lifestyle. Some people get the impression that I'm "restless". Or avoiding something. I guess that could be a turn-off for a potential mate.
Add to this the fact that I'm contemplating a move. To the west coast. To be near the beach. My motivations have been questioned by many. Even myself, to tell you the truth.
Last week I was telling a close friend about my desires for moving and how I want to be sure my intentions are good and healthy. She said to me "Fill in the blank to this without pausing to think: I want to move because _______"
I immediately said "because I want to experience a different lifestyle while I'm still young, and while I don't have children."
Hmmmm? Yeah? Apparently, I have a new idea forming in my head that I may adopt a child in a few years. Which makes me want to live footloose and fancy free while I can.
I'm not restless. I am not non-committal. I'm just trying to experience as much as I can. Yes, I could calm down and be stable and responsible for a child. I could also do it for a mate. In fact, if I met someone that I wanted to pursue a relationship with, I could/would cut back significantly on my traveling. I guess the challenge would be when / where will I find such a person if I'm on the go so much?
What are your thoughts? Should I cut back on the hectic movement of my lifestyle to achieve the goal of relationship that is so important to me? Or should I live my life as it comes, having faith that it'll happen anyway?
posted by Aileen @ 5:17 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I'm not great with giving advice, but in your situation, I would do what made me happy in the near future. A bird in the hand, not knowing what the future brings, that sort of thing.
I totally understand your dilemma. At the early height of my career I was in a job that took me away for weeks at a time to developing countries. The job came with language lessons at the Foreign Service Institute in small classes of 5, which then enabled me to work in countries that spoke Spanish or French. I took this job so as not to work directly for my husband-to-be. Early on we realized just how much strain each trip put us under -- both before and after. In many ways it was a dream job. But when my children were young I had to import my mother every time I traveled and my children hated those trips. So I gave it up for a job I came to loathe.
The majority of the people I worked with were single or ended up getting divorced. Travel is not kind to anyone.
So I have a hard time advising you to stay with the heavy travel schedule. It could work perhaps if you and your partner were in business together and could travel together. Now that might be the best of all worlds. But it's also not likely to happen.
I wish I could be more positive.
Blogger tea sounds great and the 13th is a perfect day for me. But please, I'm not dead, just not blogging at the moment, so let's not focus on me. I'm getting ready to launch a photo blog ("The Gold Puppy" - starring jake of course) and I'm also doing a health-related blog, http://corporealdiplomacy.wordpress.com - the health related blog is definitely still very BETA. It needs work! (Haven't found the right "voice" yet, haven't got the visuals worked out. It needs to unfold a bit before it's truly presentable.)
Can't wait to actually meet!!
Oh, and I should say, I have many clients who are partnered and travel a lot. Some of them think the periods of time when they're separated from their partners actually helps the relationships, keeps them from taking each other for granted.
It depends on the people involved, of course!
Have faith, darlin'. As you are enjoying the travel and your business requires it, I wouldn't mess with the equation. It's beautiful to hear you are thinking about adopting. If and when that time comes, you can cut back on the travel. You will make a fantastic mother!
Have you ever noticed how flirty some of those pilots are?
My recent airport epiphany is that they seem like they'd make the ideal relationship partner: 1) Gone away enough so you don't tire of them 2) Mature enough (most of them anyway) to entrust the lives of hundreds of people with 3)Smart enough to know how to get through Aerodynamics 401 and to be able to operate a plane! 4) And you yourself could get off the road and take advantage of the bennies of a relationship with them (ie: free travel)
The next one that flirts with me is getting my number for sure!
Go West young woman! The alternative being: More of what you currrently know. Besides, you will have that rock in your shoe until you find out if the new adventure suits you.
Furthermore, being one of the fortunate new friends you have made this year, I happen to have loads of confidence that you will do beautifully!
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