Missed Connections

This week, I've had some disjointed thoughts about how difficult it is for people to connect. On a meaningful level. I'm not sure if my perception is accurate, but it feels like it gets harder as we get older- instead of easier.

I'm not talking about meeting people. We often get better at that as we get older. Those that are introverted when they are young sometimes become more extroverted as they get older. Those that are extroverted in their youth, may become more balanced.

I'm referring to developing meaningful relationships. Either as friendships or romantically. A girlfriend and I were just discussing how hard it is to "get people together"...No one wants to commit to anything- everyone has so many other things going on in their lives. Friendships are rarely the priority. Which is OK, I guess-except for those of us that do place a priority on friendship. In the past year, I've met hundreds of new people. Dozens that became good acquaintances. A handful that I felt I could have a true connection with. Yet- establishing that connection and maintaining it is difficult. I don't mean it's difficult emotionally, I mean it's difficult logistically.

On the dating scene, it's confusing because there are so many "agendas" out there. And of course, most people are not forthcoming about their agenda. Some are though- I've been surprised at the number of married men online that are quite clear they are looking for a fling. Not sure why they contact me, though- I make it quite clear what I am looking for. What bothers me most are the ones that pretend. They pretend they are looking for something substantial, when in reality they aren't in that place at all. Or those that hide the fact that they are in a relationship or married. I just don't get that.

My final confusing, disjointed thought on this subject- when I come across someone who is clear and open about their agenda, it can feel weird. I met a man recently that was extremely open with me- what he's looking for and why, his approach in a relationship, his impressions and feelings about me, what he struggles with in relationship etc. And warning bells went off in my head. It felt odd. Not right. And I told him so. Actually, I told him I thought he was "odd". I have no idea why I said it. I didn't mean it as an insult or a compliment- just a statement of my opinion. I think all that "open sharing" rubbed off on me, and before I knew it I said what I thought. It came out sounding like an insult. He was slightly bothered by the statement, but more curious than anything. He wanted to know why I thought that. And I told him.

I figured I would never hear from this man again. But in typical fashion, I was wrong. He called the next day. I'm done trying to figure these things out.