Under Renovation

I enjoy making improvements to my physical appearance. I like to look attractive, to be considered sexy. It's a form of expression- the way we dress, our hairstyle, the way we present ourselves to others.

When I find myself in a funk, or not feeling good about myself, one way that I pull out of it is by putting concerted effort into my appearance. Now is apparently one of those times.

When I was studying the craft of acting, I was introduced to two very different philosophies. One philosophy was to start with what's going on internally and it would show on the outside. This method taught actors to recreate internal feelings and experiences that would be conveyed to the audience if you were really experiencing it. The other philosophy said that you start with the external expression and the internal feelings would come. I guess sort of like the saying "fake it until you make it".

As an actress, I didn't believe much in the "start with the outside" approach. But in my life, at the moment, I think I do. Right now, I have a few different "health and beauty" efforts underway. Some of them are quick added touches, and some of them are more long term improvements. Either way, as I see my appearance improve, it makes me feel good. I feel grateful for what I have. And I want to feel that I am making the most of what I have.

When I get dressed up and look in the mirror and think "I look pretty", it adds a pep to my step. When I meet up with my girlfriends and they say "You look good! Have you lost weight?" (girls are great for that!) I feel confident. When my date gets a sparkle in his eyes and says "You look really nice." I feel sensual.

Happy, confident, sensual, sassy, stylish, adventurous, intelligent, loving, nurturing. Who cares if I'm starting from the outside in as long as the result is happiness?