Balance

I am a facilitator for a women's entrepreneur peer group. Yesterday, we had our 2006 "wrap up" meeting. The purpose was to do one final review of 2006 accomplishments and to set goals for 2007.

Part of the exercise involved reviewing the various areas of our lives and how they are going. These women like to (need to) talk about personal as well as business issues. They all own multi-million dollar companies and do not have too many opportunities to share and connect with others on a "real" level.

I've talked about wheel-of-life type exercises before. Specifically, I've talked about how sick and tired I am of analyzing and re-analyzing my life. I would find it refreshing to take care of someone else for a change.

Yesterday, I had a peek into the lives of women in very different places. Most of these uber-successful women have husbands and family. (Only one was single, and only one of the married women did not have children.) As we went around the table, I felt sorry for them. The exact sentiment that I have been afraid that others have towards me.

Here are some of the comments made:

"I had to rank friendships a 'zero' because I no longer have any significant friends that are mine."

"I've been in a funk for months and I have no 'juice' left." (When the group suggested that she make herself more of a priority, she responded "I can't right now, but I think by June I can start taking care of myself again.")

"Personal development, friendship, and health- there's just nothing going on there. I don't know where to find the time."

"If I take even an hour for myself, I literally am paralyzed about what to do. It doesn't feel good."

My heart went out to these women. Technically, these women are the perfect examples of what women are supposed to be. They are the poster children for "having it all". And they sounded drained. And unhappy.

I actually wished I could donate some of the time and energy that I have to spare, so they can take care of themselves better.

There was one woman that seems to be doing well... She shared with the group that she has pulled back on her hours at work (she only works 32 hours per week), schedules date time with her husband, and she's striving for more balance this year. But she still hasn't figured out how to drop the 20 lbs she's had to lose since her last child was born.

I guess the whole moral to my story is that "everyone has their 'stuff' they are dealing with". Even though at times I wish I could trade my 'stuff' with someone else's, I do appreciate the good things I have. I have never believed that there is anything someone can accomplish to be happy (whether it's the perfect job, home, body, husband, family, etc. etc.) Happiness is deeper than that.

I do wish that we could somehow help each other out with the areas of our lives that feel deficient. For example: if I could give these women the joy I get from my friendships, the personal growth I get from being able to put myself first...and they could give me the joy they get from their families and husbands. Wouldn't it be nice if we could "pool our joy"? Or maybe we can?