It's Not All Hearts and Flowers

'There's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.'

-Jill Churchill

My Mom is hurting and there's not much I can do.

She is mourning the death of her dad, and not feeling particularly joyful at the moment. It's easy for me to feel compassion for my mother when she is hurt or vulnerable. For some reason, it's easier to be a "good daughter" during those times.

I sent her flowers- roses of mixed, bright colors. She called me to thank me, saying "They came at the perfect time" as she began to cry. We talked about grief, and we talked about healing, and we talked about the ways that she needed to take care of herself right now.

Today, at church the minister talked about imperfection. Specifically, the guilt that mother's often feel about not being perfect. I may not be a mother, but I can identify with that unrealistic desire for perfection.

On this particular Mother's Day, I'm noticing the pain. A friend who lost her mother and is sadly reminded each year on this day. Another who wants to be a mother so badly and yet has been unable to so far. My grandmother who has been profoundly affected by the death of my grandfather (her first husband), and does not seem to be in a mood for celebration.

I'll write a joyful post tomorrow, I promise. Today, I want to acknowledge the pain that some of my loved ones are experiencing.

I love you, Mom.

Update: Laurie wrote an amazing post on a similar topic.