Lessons for my daughter

Forty years ago today I began this particular journey. So far, throughout my life, as I've experienced joy and suffered trauma I've always felt that I was learning lessons for a reason. I've always looked for the lesson within each experience. While I know it's been for my own growth and development, somewhere in my mind it seemed like I was accumulating wisdom for someone else- my child. I've sometimes made a mental note of "when I have a daughter, I need to be sure to..."

I still don't feel a strong yearning for motherhood. But I do feel a desire to share my wisdom. It may end up that my nephews (and especially my niece) will be the ones that I influence. At the moment, on this anniversary of my birth, I just wanted to take stock of some of the important lessons I feel I've learned. So here's my list of what I'd do if I had a daughter:

1. Let her enjoy her childhood. Encourage original thought, actions and behavior.
2. I wouldn't give her everything she wants.
3. Let her know she can do anything she sets her mind to. (Though I would make sure she is aware of potential obstacles so she can prepare for them).
4. Tell her she is beautiful, smart, and special- often.
5. Strive to teach her that any path she chooses for her life is OK. She doesn't need a certain job, a man, or to be a mother in order to be valuable.
6. Tell her I love her, and I'd never stop hugging her.
7. Encourage her to take risks.
8. Teach her to appreciate and respect her body.
9. Show her the value of friendship.
10. Honor her feelings. If she feels her world is falling apart, I'd respect that feeling.
11. Teach her how to express her feelings- positive and negative.
12. Teach her how to handle conflict.
13. Encourage her independence, yet let her know it's OK to have help sometimes.
14. Help her let go of her expectations of others.
15. Teach her about the limitations and prejudices of society, and help her get past it.
16. Teach her about some of the fun stuff of being female: getting "pretty", flirting.
17. If education is important to her, encourage her to get as much of it as possible as early as possible.
18. If marriage and family is important to her, encourage her to be open to that whenever it comes along.
19. Teach her the tough stuff about relationships and the opposite sex.
20. Accept any career path or dream that she chooses.
21. Encourage her to travel and meet new people.
22. Encourage creativity in whatever form she chooses.
23. Let her know I have faith in her.
24. Show her all the possibilities regarding spirituality, and let her decide for herself.
25. Make sure she knows everyday that she is loved- no matter what.

Yes, I know. Easier said than done. I am aware that sometimes children refuse to learn from their parents. But these are some of the lessons I've learned- some I learned from my parents, and some I had to figure out the hard way.