He's Opening My Eyes

I have no idea if we're a permanent match. A married friend of mine tells me that if it's right, you know right away.

Maybe. I'm not convinced anyone has the answers when it comes to such things.

What I do know is that I'm learning a LOT from him. He's reminding me of who I am, the person I once was, the person I have forgotten.

He's open and direct and doesn't hold back anything- positive or negative. He makes it clear to me that he is absolutely crazy about me, yet he does not hestitate to point out things that may be bothering him.

He knows I am guarded and cautious. He knows I think and analyze way too much in relationships. He is aware and understands the type of reassurance I need.

He does not show "luke warm interest" or "reluctance" at all. Clearly, he does not know if we are a perfect match either, yet he has no problem jumping right in...with both feet.

The last time I had a long-ish term relationship, the man took a very long time to be very clear in expressing his thoughts to me or about me.

This man took days or weeks to understand me in ways that it has taken others months or years.

He opens his heart to me, and encourages me to do the same. I am reminded me that this is how I used to be. In my younger years, I did not hesitate to be vulnerable and to let a potential partner know that I have a huge amount of love to give, and I am open and ready to give it.

I am becoming aware of how many games have entered into my dating/relationship habits. "Don't call him". "Don't be too available". "Don't see him too often". "Don't appear to like him too much".

Slowly but surely he has been working on busting me out of these bad habits. And he's not gentle in his approach, at all. He's tough and firm. I suspect if he was always sweet and gentle, I probably wouldn't respond as well.

He believes that it doesn't make sense to try to control how a relationship proceeds...it progresses in whatever way it will progress. Editing and restricting behavior will not control the outcome. Being open and going with it is the only way to go.

He has mentioned my "walls" more than once. He makes it clear that he is willing to do what it takes to get over those walls...but only to a point. I know if I don't meet him at least almost halfway, he will give up. I don't blame him, it's only fair.

It's kind of ironic that he used to be a massage therapist, because I feel like he's been giving my heart a massage: getting the kinks out, and making me feel more relaxed.