A Date with My Past

Last weekend, I attended my HS reunion. It's been 25 years since I graduated. This is the first reunion I've attended (they have been having them every five years), and since I didn't remain friends with any of my HS friends, this was the first time I've seen these people in 25 years.

What made me decide to go?

Curiosity, I guess. And an acceptance of where I am in my life. I'm not sure I felt that way when I had the opportunity to attend previous reunions.

I no longer felt embarrassed over my marital status or lack of children. And I was no longer concerned that I wasn't aging as well as I could- my recent weight loss definitely helped with this confidence.

The experience was surreal. I felt as if I was entering into some sort of time warp. What did I learn?

• I am aging QUITE well if I say so myself.
• My marital status is no worse than those on their 2nd or even 3rd marriage.
• I am, indeed, old enough to have a child in college.
• Some of the people that I barely knew in high school seem to be really interesting, quality people.
• People I found intimidating in high school did not have that effect on me now.
• Since I never dated anyone in my class, I found it a bit satisfying to be hit on by several of the guys.
• I felt oddly comfortable in this room of "strangers". There's something about sharing a history, a foundation, that creates a sense of bonding.

One of my favorite moments of the evening was when I was talking to "the most popular guy in our class" for awhile. He's become somewhat of a local celebrity (think big fish, small pond), so he's as cocky as ever. He sees me and gives me a flirty look as he says my name in greeting "Aileen Lastname"!

As he gives me a super huge, slightly suggestive hug, I remember this same exact hug in high school. And I remember him telling me once as he hugged me "Damn, you got a tight little body under there." Yeah, a smarmy comment...but for an insecure high school girl, it's one you remember. Even though he was captain of the football team, and I was a cheerleader, he never showed any significant interest in me.

So now, as we talk, it becomes evident that he has thoroughly read my Facebook profile, has checked out my business website, though he pretends he hasn't.

Somehow, he knows I'm not married. He asks how many hearts I break on a weekly basis. (Apparently, his lines haven't gotten any better over the years.) He then goes on to say- "You know it's because you're too much. I always knew you were too much. I know I could never handle you."

As I jokingly agree with him and inwardly crack up at his attempt at flattery, he continues.

"You know what you need? A dumb guy. Maybe a young guy. A guy that doesn't care that you're too much. Because any smart guy is going to have too much ego to handle that you're smarter. You're just too much."

And no, I wasn't insulted. Because it didn't really matter. And suddenly I didn't feel so bad that I hadn't stayed in contact with anyone from that time of my life. I don't mean to sound snobbish, but in many ways, I think I just was too much!