Abundance vs. Scarcity

I am generally a pretty positive, optimistic person. I'm not sure you can tell this if you only know me from my blog. But it's true. I always believe there's something good around every corner. Endless opportunities. Infinite potential for happiness.

Life is Abundant.

When it comes to my love life however, I have a difficult time maintaining this outlook. And I've noticed some gender differences in this case.

When it comes to love and relationships, women often approach it with an attitude of scarcity.

Men more often approach it with an attitude of abundance.

We often feel like we will never find anyone like this ever again. This was possibly our last chance. It took forever to find this one...can I wait forever to find the next?

They don't seem to worry about that in the slightest. They are quick to pronounce that timing isn't right, this person isn't right, circumstances aren't right. They are confident they will get another chance...that there are plenty of fabulous, beautiful, smart, engaging women out there.

And they are usually right.

The men I've known with the "abundant outlook" on dating...are still dating. One after another after another.

The men I've known who were a bit more worried about scarcity- who felt extremely lucky when they found love...are married.

The challenge is what the scarcity outlook does to women...it makes us fearful...we make bad decisions...we appear desperate. I think someone with an abundant outlook is much more attractive. They exude confidence, happiness.

Damn it, I need to figure out a way to convince myself that love is abundant!