An Hour on Mars is Equal to a Whole Day on Venus
Have you ever noticed that men and women have a different sense of time?
What's that all about?
It actually took me many years to learn this interesting fact. I first noticed it in the world of dating...When I would expect a phone call "right away", the man would typically wait a few days.
"Talk to you soon" usually means in the next day or two for women...for men, it means sometime in the next week. Maybe.
Then I noticed the phenomenon in relationships. I can think of an instance when I had a pretty bad argument with a man I was dating. As far as I was concerned, he was clearly at fault (I'm sure his version is different). The time challenge was in the making-up process. I fully expected a phone call later that same night. An apology, a conversation, whatever. The call came several days later (maybe even as many as four or five). Those days dragged on for me- it was torture. And when he called, he said he was so sorry about what happened "the other night".
The other night? You mean, last week?
I've been in the role of supportive friend for many a girlfriend when she "hasn't heard from him". A few weeks ago, a friend was worried about her relatively new relationship because she had sent him an email and hadn't heard back from him yet. "When did you send it?" I asked. "Around noon." She says.
"Today? It's only four o'clock!"
"Yeah, but he usually responds right away."
Sigh.
Then there is the issue of taking time to make plans. I know men became frustrated years ago when women started following some weird rules about making weekend plans by Wednesday. But as weird as it sounds, there's a reason- so we won't have to wait those extra few days to find out if we have a date that weekend.
"Extra few days" on Mars is an eternity on Venus.
I do have some evidence that Martians seem to adjust to Venusian time when they are in love. When a man loves me, I notice that I don't have to wait for his call. I don't have to wait for him to make plans to see me again. It happens in sync with my own timeline. It's a great feeling!
The question I still haven't figured out yet- Is it fair to expect "in love" behavior when you are in the early stages of dating? Especially when you don't know how you feel about him?
Yeah- so much for my vow to not turn this into a dating blog! Ugh!
posted by Aileen @ 12:49 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Sometimes I feel more like a Martian than anything else. Most of the men I date want constant communication. It makes me skittish but there are times when I find myself firmly planted on Venus and hoping for our clocks to sync. Frustrating.
Well...being married my comment may somewhat be tarnished, but only because I always come up with the timeline and he sort of plods along. This being said...I think it mostly depends on how you feel about the person. Sometimes you want them to call right away because obviously you like being around them and other times you cringe when their # shows up on the phone. Thus weeding out the losers. I think this applies to friends, coworkers, employers, credit card companies and mother-in-laws.
The different concept of time extends to punctuality as well. That has constantly been an issue in my marriage of 30+ years. I've just had to learn that "ready in a few minutes" is never just a few minutes.
I'm definitely Martian: if they don't call me and I want to talk, I call them. Since I hate talking on the phone, that doesn't happen often. But I think the whole waiting phenomenon, whether by women or men, is a power play. Any guy who really wants your attention, unless he hopes to get it by being withholding (and you really don't want him, do you?), will call and make plans promptly, early and often, kind of like voting in Chicago, dead or alive. I mean, you might make plans with someone else, right?
Post a Comment
<< Home