Where the Girls Are

I am telling every unmarried man I know between the ages of 25 and 50 (except the one I'm dating) where they need to go to find amazing, quality, women: TAKE A TRIP.

Seriously.

An organized trip- with a group. Earlier in the year I went to Spain with a group- there were about two dozen of us, with only about 5 or 6 men. This time, I headed to Costa Rica with around 55 other fun, adventurous, single people. I'd say around 10 of them were men.

We decided that maybe men just don't "do" groups. If they want to travel- they grab a buddy, find a woman, or go alone. But I'm telling you- travel with a group and you may end up with the side benefit of a new love.

On the second or third night of the Costa Rica trip, I was talking to a really nice, slightly nerdy, interesting, and mildly attractive man from San Diego. He was complaining that the ratio was actually working against the men. "If we try to speak to or spend time with one of you, the rest start to circle the wagons".

Eek. Is that true? I'd hate to think we had any sort of catty competition going on. After all, I was impressed with the caliber of women on this trip and enjoying their company immensely. And "meeting a man" was nowhere near the top of my priority list for this trip.

But now that I was paying attention, I noticed that my San Diego friend was right. It wasn't exactly a "Bachelor" type competition going on: it was a subtle undertone that in general, we, the women, did not want anyone "pairing up". We ALL wanted some male energy around, some flirtatious banter.

Then I noticed something specific about myself: I am very competitive when it comes to male attention. Even though there wasn't anyone on this trip that I was particularly interested in, I found myself attempting to engage the interest of the men. Thinking back to my Spain trip, it was the same thing: I was determined to secure the attention/interest of at least one of the men in spite of the fact that there were so few of them. The fact that I started the trip already sort of dating one of them didn't count.

YUCK! What an unattractive piece of information about myself. Let's never speak of this again, OK?

Anyway, within a few days, most of the men on the Costa Rica trip were "paired up" with their vacation girlfriend. (Including my San Diego friend that was previously complaining about the ratio.) Some of the pairings were obviously destined to be flings, but others seemed to have real promise. I look forward to hearing how they turn out.

One of the men was a true player. He was a big-time partyer and flirt. He always seemed to have a drink in his hand, and he was great at the compliments. I met him when we stopped for lunch immediately upon arrival. In other words, I had been up since 1 am, and I'm sure I looked like hell. But after bumping into Charles at the buffet line, you'd have thought I was Jennifer Aniston. He talked the bartender into selling him a bottle of Cassique and proceeded to lead a table of us (4 women and him) in trying Costa Rica's best liquor. (It may be important to note: I don't drink. But I joined him in drinking Cassique and diet coke.) I enjoyed the fact that he seemed to pay extra special attention to me.

It was amusing watching Charles work his way through our entire group of women. He was literally like a kid in a candy store. (We soon learned he was very recently divorced, so this vacation must have been his celebration or something.) After a couple nights of all night bar-hopping (which I did not join), even Charles chose his vacationship partner. By the end of the week, he was telling the other guys "Actually, I really like this girl!" I guess there's a reason they say you can't judge a book by its cover.

Traveling with others in a foreign country gives you the unique opportunity to really get to know someone pretty well. You find out their interests, their energy level, how they handle stress, how they look without sleep, how they interact with others... It probably gives you more information than a dozen dates. Without the pressure.

So seriously, guys, if you are wondering where all the great women are- take a trip!