But I'm supposed to...

Over the last few weeks I've had separate conversations with different
people about relationships. It has appeared to me that we've gotten a bit off track. I have spoken to single people, people in relationships, and a few married people as well. And it's not that I set out to do some sort of research project- it's a topic that has just naturally come up.

What have I observed? Single people hate the dating process. Men think women have it easier, women think men have it easier. People in relationships have anxiety over "where is it going". Married people are working through the issues and disagreements.

But the common thread I'm seeing is everyone's struggle with what they are "supposed to" do. Or "supposed to" have. Or how their boyfriend is "supposed to" act. Either they are frustrated that they can't make it happen the way it's "supposed to" or else they even feel guilty if they don't truly want what they are "supposed to".

I have been guilty of this in the past. By focusing on what I'm "supposed to" have, I have made the mistake of not enjoying the moment. Not relishing the present. Last night, I had a wonderful dinner with a friend that is in a new relationship. She knows beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this is a summer fling (that may at most last until fall), and yet she is able to fully enjoy it and be content with it. I was so happy to see her healthy outlook- in the past when I have had similar experiences, I couldn't enjoy it. Once I knew that the relationship wasn't going to go where it was "supposed to", it took most of the joy out of it.

Recently, I've been on a quest. I'm trying to give up the pressure of "supposed to". I'm trying to let go of outcomes. I'm working on accepting (and enjoying) people, relationships, situations as they are. And I've gotta tell 'ya- so far I'm having a blast!