Readers of The Secret- What about sex?
I admit it, I caved in to the hype and purchased the book, The Secret. I'm typically not a huge fan of such books, but this one sounded like it was in line with how I've been seeing things lately.
I believe that we have control over how we feel. We have control over our own happiness. Happiness is a choice. A decision. So is love. (I know a lot of people disagree with that notion.) I also believe that we create our lives...call it energy, karma, whatever. And it sounded like The Secret was based on beliefs like that.
It is. Sort of.
I'm almost done reading the book. There are some good points in it that I find myself nodding my head to. And affirmations that make me smile. I do believe that our actions send messages to the universe and if we are sending mixed messages the universe is confused.
For example- if you claim that you want to find a life partner and get married, yet you pursue relationships with men that don't want the same thing, the universe is confused. You don't get a life partner, because your actions are saying you don't want that.
I get that. (Ha! I live it!)
The Secret also says that you should act like you already have what it is you are hoping for. For example- if you want to lose weight, you can't be thinking "I need to lose weight" because the universe gets confused and you'll continue to need to lose weight. I think you're supposed to feel / think / believe that you already have the beautiful body that you want. The universe responds by making it happen.
I kind of get that, but it's much, much trickier.
So to keep with that thinking, I'm supposed to feel / think / believe that I have the love I want in my life already. Behave as if I'm already in love with my life partner, and he with me.
I'm losing it a bit here.
So what about dating? Does that mean as soon as I know (or think I know) that someone isn't my life partner, I should stop dating them?
What about sex? Does the universe get confused about me being sexually involved with someone that clearly will not be a life partner?
Damn, if I have to choose between The Secret and sex...
Anyone want to buy a slightly used version of The Secret?
posted by Aileen @ 9:31 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
"The Secret" is also huge here on the west coast. How did a self-help book & dvd program, if I am using the proper term, catch on like no other before it? Was it because it was featured on Oprah! Dayum, I want to be featured on Oprah. And if the universe keeps getting confused so easily, how on earth did it get to be some 5 billion years old (or 6,000 years old to the Bible thumpers)?
Lol... good question. Kidding.
I learned a word in my counselling sessions. It's called Congruency. Living what you say and hiding behind nothing.
Actions lead to motivation. Sometimes you just have to do it until you feel like doing it.
My biggest weakness is mastering what I Feel by what I Think.
Have a good weekend.
I've never heard of the book, and based on your review of it, that's really fine with me.
I do not believe we have control over our emotions, I don't believe happiness is a choice. The pressure these kinds of ideas puts on people is so unfair!
What I believe is that we can be conscious about the neverending flow of emotion, that we can be mindful and make choices about how to move through a day when many difficult or troubling emotions take hold.
Happiness, I believe anyway, is God-given and overrrated in terms of what's important in life.
Acting like you already have something that you don't yet have is pure hypocracy, turns the actor into a liar. Yikes.
I could go on, but I won't. Aileen you are a beautiful and ebullient writer and blogger, no more in control of your emotions than any other human. You're honest, thoughtful, kind, qualities I consider so much more precious than the values put forth by the book. For heaven's sake. Recycle the book!
media concepts- it's amazing how much influence Oprah has,isn't it? Though that isn't why I purchased the book. And there you go trying to apply logic to a spiritual issue...:)
josh- I like that word- congruency. I agree with the link between motivation/action/thoughts/feelings
reya- I love it when I see your passion in writing! We will have to agree to disagree on this one...I do feel our thoughts can control our actions, which in turn can directly impact our feelings. I'm not sure I can take it as far as this book does though.
(And thanks for the kind words! "Beautiful and ebullient writer"- wow! I'm touched!)
Some of my most exciting sexual encounters were with people who were not potential life partners. Sex is one of those things that sometimes makes us throw caution and rational thinking to the wind as we experience the moment. The balancing act of sex and love and commitment and trust is one that challanges us for a lifetime.
But in answer to your question, I had a lot of one-night stands because I tended to escape from relationships once rational thinking had returned and I realized the relationship was ultimately doomed.
I just bought this book yesterday- have not read it. Didn't even know about it until this weekend.
I guess, as with anything in life, you can take from it what makes sense for you.
One more thing, I truly do believe that we are in control of our actions/emotions/feelings. I also firmly believe that we can choose to be happy (or not). Our choice. It's in the way we decide to approach our lives and what we decide to take away from every relationship or simple encounter with the rest of humanity.
I know there are moments that horrible things may occur and give us periods of unhappiness (not our choice), But, the way we handle it and grow from it is our doing.
PEACE
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