'Infinite Connections'. If we think of the number of people that cross our paths throughout our lives, it may be a high number- but it's a finite number. The 'infinite' part comes into play when you look at the connections ever made by any person that ever lived. Again...also finite...but you get what I mean. A very complex web of interconnection.

The most complex of those connections probably involve those caused by love.

I do not plan on creating something filled with hearts and flowers or warm fuzzies. I want to create a blog where I can write about topics that fascinate me. It's also a bit of a test- what thoughts or ideas are worth sharing with others? Is it possible to learn more about myself and about life by putting words out into the universe? Not sure, we'll see.

I am utterly fascinated by the topics of love, friendship and relationship. How and why we interact with each other. What makes it good and what makes it bad. In my last post I mentioned the concept of 'unconditional love'. Why would unconditional love give me an excuse to give less to a relationship? Well, sometimes if I don't call when I should, if I'm not there for them in the way that I could be, or if I don't live up to some sort of obligation, on some level I think I feel "well, they love me no matter what". I'm not proud to share that- and I've only recently realized it. But that's something I want to change.

If there is obligation or expectation involved I have a natural tendency to pull away. If love is unconditional- like with parents, family, very close friends, then why is there even a feeling of obligation? If there is an expectation of behavior in a relationship, doesn't that mean a condition has been placed on it?

For me, I think the answer is looking at the times when I get that feeling of obligation and want to pull away. I think I need to figure out if the feeling comes from the other person, or if it's my own perception I need to change. I suspect it's something that comes from me...probably born from shame and guilt. Which of course is another topic altogether.