Can an addict use occasionally?

After years of wishing I could date like a man, and unsuccessfully attempting to become "stronger" when it comes to romantic emotion, I think I've finally given in to biology.

Like many (but not all) women, I am wired to seek out a long term mate. One fact that I'm coming to terms with is the fact that when I get to the point of being physically intimate with a man, I become addicted to him. Chemically addicted.

This doesn't happen after just one "occasion". I haven't exactly nailed down how long it takes. But I do know that if I'm with a man after a certain amount of time, with a certain amount of frequency, I feel bonded to him. And my emotions escalate. I start to imagine romantic fantasy-like scenarios of happily-ever-after.

The chemical addiction lasts for a long time. Sometimes even long past the relationship. In some extreme cases, the addiction to a particular person is not broken until it is replaced by a new object of addiction.

The logical side of me can actually see the addiction forming. Even see it coming. But I don't seem to be able to stop it, if there is strong chemistry.

So what does this addiction do to me? It makes it very difficult to "date". To take things slowly. If the relationship becomes physical, soon the desire to see the man more often, to take things to the next level, kicks in. Even if I'm not really sure that that is what I want from this person.

Yeah, yeah, I know, the answer seems easy. Either don't let the relationship get physical until you're sure you want more from the person, or break it off if you determine that it's not right for the long term.

Apparently neither of those options is easy for me.

So what I struggle with is this- can I continue to move slowly with my current relationship and resist the biological urge to accelerate it?

It helps that he seems very comfortable moving at the speed of molasses. In fact, instead of it seeming like I'm at odds with myself, it actually turns out to feel like my biological urges vs. his!

Thank god there's a fun chemistry there! At the moment, it makes the struggle worth it!